It all is in a grey area on whether or not dh and I could file criminal charges on THE sil. It all depends on what paperwork she has tricked dmil into signing. Since we never went to court to have dmil declared incompetent and the doctor that diagnosed her with Alzheimers is dead we would have to go through a lengthy civil case to get her declared incompetent at this point and sil would fight us every inch of the way.
Dmil’s medical records have some how got ‘lost’.
When we demanded proof of her being dmil rep payee she sent us a blurry copy of her application to be rep payee and a rescind form for a poa for dh, who wasn’t the poa of record. So we don’t know if sil has any rights at all.
When she cashed out the life insurance policy she used a poa with her daughter’s name on it, not hers. However, she announced on fb her daughter knew nothing about of it.
We were told by another family member at that time sil couldn’t get approved for anything.
When she tried to steal the brokerage account to buy herself a house she showed, very fleetingly, a different set of papers to the broker. He refused the papers and threaten to have her arrested.
So we don’t know if she has any legal paperwork or not.
If she does she is still in a very grey area, because a rep payee does not give her the legal right to open charge cards in dmil’s name, but a poa would.

However, if she opened them with a poa then she is personally liable for any and all debt on that card. Something she probably doesn’t know…yet.
So she could be ‘legal’ on running up the debt. Or it could be identity theft. It would take a very messy expensive civil suit that we may or may not win.
Dmil has zero way to use charge cards without assistance, so it is definitely sil doing it.

So morally she is scum, but legally her butt may be covered.
So until the debt collectors go after dmil hard or she passes we won’t know.
Either they will prosecute her for fraud and elder abuse or make her pay them every penny she has ran up. Either way our hands are tied right now.